Sorry I sprayed bug spray in your face. Those fake eyelashes scared the hell out of me.

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@sixfootcandy: Sorry I sprayed bug spray in your face. Those fake eyelashes scared the hell out of me.

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@thispartyislame: Sprayed a spider with some Davidoff Cool Water & it didn't die. Now I'm just stuck with a spider that I wanna bang.

@CroweJam: I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.

@alexblagg: "Lets all start wearing weird '90s mom jeans!" - girls now

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@KCCOTyler: Condoms prevent minivans.

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@3_arbutus: There are 363 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.

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