@Sal0630: Sorry I started singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the accountability meeting, but you said "easy come, easy go" so I just ran with it..
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@Bearslietoo: There is no "i" in "team," but there is a lot of "alcohol" in my "fridge" because I enjoy abusing my liver.
@mommywhines: It's so adorable when girls are scared to eat in front of a guy. I'll eat both your plates. Probably even the guy.
@SharkJelly: [1hr before date] Me: (to waiter) So when I order the extra spicy chicken you say 'brave choice sir' and then bring the Lemon Herb chicken
@jaggedape: Bear mace is like regular mace but you have to buy it at the maul... Thank you for your time.