@SufficientCharm: Sorry I threw your baby but there was a spider on her.
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@Robski_Boy: If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks.
@KingRainhead: Boy: do u have any fantasies Me: ok.. so.. the library of alexandria is under siege& Im a librarian whos good at fighting& I save the books
@Black__Elvis: My favorite episode of Friends is the one where blacks mysteriously vanish and unemployed white people find affordable housing in Manhattan.
@TEXASVETERAN: I always get my pizza cut into 4 slices. You'd have to be a fat ass to eat 8 slices.