@TheCiscoKidder: Sorry I unfollowed you on Instagram, but you take at least 10 pics of your face everyday. I don't even look at my wife that much.
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@UncleDuke1969: *opens "Job Interview Handbook" *reads "dress for the job you want" *goes to computer *opens browser *Googles "ladies' bicycle seat costume"
@amybethlee70: I read an article today about a cat who saved his owner's life. I'm still trying to teach mine not to vomit hairballs on my bed.
@TuffyNyC: If they took all the money spent on making Godzilla movies, they could've probably just made an actual Godzilla by now.