@Sassafrantz: Sorry I unfriended you after seeing your Facebook "Year In Review" but it was bad enough the first time.
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@1Happytwit: Cats don't come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can't put them in the washing machine.
@KaylarWill: It's a shock to me that people actually pay their student loans. That's a bill I gave to Jesus
@DurtMcHurtt: This guy in my living room must think I'm an idiot, he says he picked my lock but I distinctly remember choosing it at the store by myself.
@super_morgasm: Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with.