@juneohara65: Sorry I used the word flaccid twice in your wedding toast.
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@LeBearGirdle: Nurse: Doctor this man needs an IV! Roman Empire doctor: OF WHAT? HE NEEDS 4 OF WHAT?!
@Darlainky: Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism.
@AndyRichter: My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place