@juneohara65: Sorry I used the word flaccid twice in your wedding toast.
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@thepunningman: Interviewer: Under skills you put horse whisperer and able to see ghosts Me: Ask that horse if you don't believe me Interviewer: What horse?
@MikeCanRant: There are shockingly few security guards at dog shows. You can run out and pet 4 or 5 dogs before they catch you. Last time I pet 8 of them.
@StinkyGr33n: I'm just saying, instead of calling it a "mule", it would have made more sense to call it a honkey.
@squirrel74wkgn: *spraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays Axe body spray* ~ guys with ponytails