@SCbchbum: Sorry I used your baby's bald head as a lipstick blotter.
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@bea_ker: You wanna see the most dangerous animal in the world mate? Go look in the mirror. (I've locked an adult male puma in their bathroom)
@DadandBuried: Women never understand the importance of cords. We NEED to keep all these cords, just in case! What if we run out of cords!
@causticbob: BBC:when a women is attracted to a man, she speaks in a higher pitch than normal That explains why every woman I talk to sounds like Batman