@KizerBillhelm: Sorry I yelled "April Fool's" while you were proposing to your girlfriend.
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@TheMichaelRock: Ghostbusters is my favorite movie where Bill Murray yells at a giant marshmallow man for stepping on a church.
@walks_on_legs: Interview tip: maintain eye contact. If they try to look at documents, put your head between them and the documents.
@themiltron: FRIEND: What 3 books would you have on a desert island? ME: My first book is more books. F: What? These aren’t wish— M: Second book’s a TV.