@bossy_bootz: Sorry if my tweets aren't good enough for you, person who retweets Cher
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@ericsshadow: [undercover FBI agent who's had me under surveillance for weeks decides to blow his cover] do you ever stop eating?
@LackOfShame: Turns out that the best way to find a flat head screw driver is to pretend to look for a phillips one.
@mollzbenn: It's amazing how much you can get away with by wearing an orange vest and a hard hat. I've been digging a hole in this Forever 21 for hours.