@bossy_bootz: Sorry if my tweets aren't good enough for you, person who retweets Cher
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@BuckyIsotope: TEENS IN THE 70S: let’s protest war TEENS IN THE 80S: let’s protest capitalism TEENS IN THE 90S: let’s rage against the machine TEENS TODAY: let’s eat laundry detergent
@CulturedRuffian: I just want the confidence of my grandpa in church taking a call from the pharmacy on speaker phone to confirm his Viagra prescription.
@Diversion50: [supermarket] *Unpacks 60 items of groceries onto checkout area* CHECKOUT GIRL: I have a boyfriend. ME: Oh, OK. *slowly repacks trolley*