@robfee: Sorry Im late, I saw that Spongebob episode where he's a lifeguard but cant swim, even though they live underwater & now my brain is leaking
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@Rollmaninoz: Boss: ok just bear with me *I growl and start clawing the air* B: wtf are you doing Me: I..You said.. B:first ‘snail mail’ now this..Just go
@TravLeBlanc: Twitter: where 20-year standup comedy vets get out-funnyed by accountants, college kids, junkies, & unemployed single moms on a daily basis.
@cjwerleman: Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving.