@simoncholland: Sorry I'm late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic.
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@AmishPornStar1: Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
@TheCiscoKidder: My wife acts like she wants to have sex, but then we don't. I googled it, it's called cuddling.
@shadygeekdad: Guys, when a woman is mad just tell her she's overreacting. She'll realize you're right and calm right down.