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@gorrdano: Sorry, I'm using all 43 grocery carts. Use a basket.
@TheToxicWaster: When Jesus went to heaven technically he was moving back in with his parents..
@ThisOneSayz: No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler.
@TheRolo: "Your lifeguard résumé is just a pic of David Hasselhoff"
I feel it says all u need to know about me
"He's drunk with a cheeseburger"
@rickygervais: Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib.
@T_N_Crumpets: Bartender: YOU'RE the guy that drinks from the soap dispenser in the toilets?
Me: [I try to say "NO" but it's just lavender scented bubbles]