@gorrdano: Sorry, I'm using all 43 grocery carts. Use a basket.
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@squirrel74wkgn: *leaves toilet seat up at hotel* [phone buzzes: text from wife] *slowly puts toilet seat down*
@Brianhopecomedy: "Doctor, is the baby healthy?" "Yes Kanye, and just so you know I was the first one to hold her." "Huh?" *Ray-J pulls off surgical mask
@Tmoney68: *the fog lifts* *the fog eats a high protein-low fat diet* *the fog does cardio* *the fog is fit af*
@jergarl: Me: I'm so tired I need to sleep. Ambien: Here I'll help... Hey don't forget to take off your clothes and pretend that you're snow! Me: K