@Nikkeya08: Sorry my diet made me slap the oreo out of your toddler's hand and scream "NOT TODAY SATAN!"
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@electrolemon: howdy. i’m a sheriff in this here movie or show. and if i see somethin startlin? well... best believe i’m takin my hat off at it. real slow
@iwearaonesie: mom: Why are your eyes red? Are you high!? [flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over] me: Yes
@iscoff: If two people on opposite sides of the world drop a piece of bread on the ground at the same time the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich