@caperbc75: Sorry my seductive strip tease to Janet Jackson's Black Cat blew your Grandma's pacemaker and caused your Mom to divorce your Dad.
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@timdonakowski: If I ever meet someone who's been in a coma since 2004, I'm trying to sell them a USB drive for $150.
@Swishergirl24: The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
@duplicitron: Mail some pirates a treasure map leading to the exact spot where you need a hole dug for a tree.