@Smooheed: 'Sorry officer but how was I to know that weird noise my car was making was a bicycle stuck in my mudflap?'
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@TheBoydP: My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me.
@TySmithdrums: I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it