@Smooheed: 'Sorry officer but how was I to know that weird noise my car was making was a bicycle stuck in my mudflap?'
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@Brampersandon_: "Sir u have a hernia" "Haha c'mon doc don't u mean a HISnea?" "No I meant hern-" "Im obviously a guy. How did u even get a medical license?"
@crow_death: I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider.
@TheDailyManning: Dear girls, Santa saw your Facebook page, you're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.