@AbbyHasIssues: Sorry, package of water bottles. I'm only making one trip from the car with these grocery bags, so you're sleeping in the car tonight.
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@buttsword: imagine a dolphin. now imagine a small dog. folks there is plenty more where that came from
@BaileyXPaige: [at the gym] Trainer: "Why don't you tell me what your workout goals are." Me: "Goals? I'm just here so I don't eat for an hour."
@BooFricketyHoo: I'm on Twitter because my brother got a chemistry set for christmas when he was little and I got plaid pants.