@atDevin: "sorry sorry sorry reallysorry reallysorry sorry" - remorse code
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@patrickmarkryan: You're not impressing anyone, people who put a comma before the person's name when wishing them a happy birthday on Facebook
@CackleClub: If you've been kind to nature, birds will rescue you through your sunroof in a traffic jam and fly you to their kingdom
@PortRooster: Pitbull: Hey, what rhymes with "Kodak"? Nicki Minaj: "Kodak", duh... Pitbull: Thanks!
@cbdoubleu: Sorry I burnt your degree from the University of Phoenix thinking that a better degree would rise from its ashes.