@Jacksawyerr: Sorry, the dog stood on my keyboard and liked that Instagram photo of you from 47 weeks ago.
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@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.
@iwearaonesie: squirrel mom: Remember what I told you squirrel son: "Always look both ways before I finish crossing the street"
@AudreyPorne: "Are you on Facebook?" "No, but I'm on.. (don't say twitter, don't say twitter) ..Mescaline" (Nailed it)
@withanewname: Bacon: Toast, great tan! Eggs: Ham, you smell good! Ham: Thank you Eggs, you too! Toast: Bacon, you're awesome bro! -complementary breakfast