@SirEviscerate: Sorry the edible underwear weren't edible anymore by the time you tried to eat them. It was a long drive to your apartment.
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@Cheeseboy22: A terrible baby shower game idea is called, "Have a man come in and guess which woman at the shower is pregnant."
@OBiiieeee: Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro.
@myonlymizztake: Got a hot new neighbor, I finally have something to look at with my night vision goggles besides raccoons.
@torrami: When hubs is sleeping I put my Care Bear blanket on him and take the most adorable blackmail photos ever.