@Hobo_Splendido: Sorry, there's a technical problem preventing me from RTing your tweets. Technically they're not funny.
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@juneohara65: Me: "Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession." Priest: "You're off to a bad start."
@nonchalantnacho: Glad my dog is warning me about the child walking down the street catching snowflakes on his tongue. He seems sketchy.