@BruceForce: Sorry waiter for pushing you over when you asked me to tip you
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@crmotwo: People told me 10 carrots for an engagement was excessive but it's my $100,000 and my fiancé deserves as much produce from Whole Foods as she pleases.
@nice_mustard: *on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*
@AmishPornStar1: If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off... It still works, because the mosquitoes just slide off your legs.