@ConanOBrien: Sorry you didn’t win Best Picture, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for “Best Documentary.”
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@shashaintl: Him: Are you gonna kill me? Me: WHAT? Him: Your mood swings. I figured today's the day I die. Me: Him: *whispers* Please don't hurt me.
@Michael_Erhart: There's that girl again. Time to impress her. *Rolls down the window blasting a science podcast*
@Jen_says_nah: Spoiler alert for the lady in this line, repeatedly asking her newborn 'what's wrong?' Its not gonna answer ya.