@spacej_me: Sorry you handed me your baby and I immediately put it in the garbage I thought that's what we were doing.
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@Kathleen_McGee: The cool thing about being broke is you can tell your friends you aren't drinking for a while & they think you're getting your shit together
@RandomManik: Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love.
@Try2StopME: If you cry every day in your relationship.. sit down, take a deep breath & ask yourself, "Am I dating a Human or an Onion?"
@GrowlyGrego: [at bar] "Yeah I pulled down a solid 6 figs last year." Whoa that's impressive! "I know, right! Can't believe I got fired by that fig farm."