@spacej_me: Sorry you handed me your baby and I immediately put it in the garbage I thought that's what we were doing.
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@KPsych29: I always wear black. That way I'm ready, at any given moment, for an impromptu night out or your funeral, whatever.
@peterjames48: We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted on the fitness trail, and I was, like, "Good for him."
@flashember: Think you know guilt? *takes long drag on cigarette* I'm the wildebeest who killed Mufasa. *exhales* I hear Simba's screams every night.
@max_read: i wonder what it's like to be the pizzagate gun guy and discover that your former comrades now believe that you're a crisis actor