@MoonChildJess: Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RandomAntics: Woman: Please send an ambulance, I'm having contradictions!! Operator: Ma'am, do you mean 'contractions'? Woman: Yes! No!
@LoveNLunchmeat: Some peanut butter M&M's just rolled under the fridge, and now I understand every sad love song ever written.
@lovemydogduck: Why periods? Why can't mother nature just tweet me and be like "Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to you next month"
@JediGigi: Boss: I need you to come into work at 7 instead of 9 tomorrow. Me: Can't. Boss: Why? Me: I'll be asleep until 8:30.