@MoonChildJess: Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lilgapeach30: I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Might not kill him but he'll never have any friends.
@sanjanaa: Dude yapping nonstop at the gym just said he works out in the afternoons to avoid people who talk. Is it okay to fling a dumbbell at him?
@Reverend_Scott: [horror movie in 2169] The killer creeps up behind the college co-eds and JUST STARTS THROWING GLUTEN EVERYWHERE [entire audience faints]
@DaddyJew: Cop:alright now repeat after me Me:repeat after me C:no not yet M:no not yet C:stop M:stop C:put your hands in the air M:put your h..