@MoonChildJess: Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
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@Underchilde: Dear Abby, I saw a questionable mole on this girl I like. How do I tell her without letting her know I hid a camera in her shower?
@RealLucasNeff: [The Bachelor] Some of you will be getting roses tonight... [bee in the back] AW HELL YEAH
@CarolineCasey: Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.