@juneohara65: Sound smarter than you are: end words with "eaux" and sentences with "if you will." If you're pissed, "quite frankly" adds a nice touch.
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@juliussharpe: Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
@AmnesiaRose: I wish I had the confidence to just randomly sit on people and start bathing myself like my cat does.
@hippieswordfish: *emerges from a large magic lamp,* it's me the Reasonable genie, please only wish for things like 'drive me to the airport'