@P0tterhead_394: Soup: for when you want to be hungry again in 20 minutes
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [bartender hands lady drink] courtesy of the gentleman down there [she takes a sip] is this - [me from the end of the bar] IT'S MILK
@hazelmotes1: Ladies, you should know that if I invite you to a movie I'm only after one thing: someone with a big purse I can store all my snacks in.
@MartaEffing: I hate when I catch a bouquet at a wedding and everyone judges me for lighting it on fire.
@llvvzz: If your problem can be solved by: Naps Cake Drugs Alcohol or Murder Then you don't really have a problem.