@P0tterhead_394: Soup: for when you want to be hungry again in 20 minutes
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@Uncul_Scientist: I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but he certainly did not hold back when I took him through the McDonald's drive thru.
@jergarl: Me: OMG I'm so tired. Ambien: Your wife would look AMAZING covered in mustard and chocolate chips. Me: I'm on it. A: And Cheetos. M: K.
@RapeyRaperton: When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear "tip to tip" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again.