@ItsAndyRyan: 'Space Jam' never gets old - that's because in the sterile environment of space fruit preserves don't spoil. Hi, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson.
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@BikiniBabeLover: "PIZZA" IS ACTUALLY AN ANAGRAM... P - PLEASUREFUL I - INTERESTING Z - CANT THINK OF ONE Z - CANT THINK OF ONE A - "AGG"-CELLENT
@CVTBaby: If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, he still tries to play it off like he meant it so the other trees don't laugh.
@Mr_Kapowski: Cop: There was no else going anywhere nearly as fast as you! Me: I know. I was winning.
@dave_cactus: [sign outside butcher shop: POLISH SAUSAGES - ASK US] ME: Yes, I'm here about the sausage polishing job?