@ingmarbirdman: space republicans decree: if alien lifeform implants a egg in ur face,u must carry it to term. perhaps wear a less enticing helmet next time
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@tigersgoroooar: Imagine a hunter in a deer stand but instead of a gun he has a long stick he pokes the deer with and they look around like "ok who did that"
@Reverend_Scott: DAD: Your mother and I love you very much, and I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... you're adopted. DOG: OMG THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
@KentWGraham: I used to love pretending I was Captain America and flinging a garbage can lid at kids in the neighborhood. But then my wife made me stop.