@ingmarbirdman: space republicans decree: if alien lifeform implants a egg in ur face,u must carry it to term. perhaps wear a less enticing helmet next time
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@TequilaTears: Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
@Lowenaffchen: Katana is Japanese for "sword". In Japan they have great respect for swords and their moms dont knock them off the wall while vacuuming
@abhorrent_wife: There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.