@SusanRinell: Speed-dating, but it's just me going from table to table stealing fries from unsuspecting couples gazing longingly into each other's eyes
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@jergarl: Me: IT'S TIME TO SETTLE DOWN FOR THE NIGHT 8yo:*starts playing accordion M: Where did you even get that? 8:*making eye contact* No idea.
@huntigula: [texting w/ my nana] Me: hey! Mom told me you learned how to use emojis! Her: I ❤️ murder Me: well that's kinda wei.. Her: I will 🔫 everyone
@Sickayduh: Accountant: Mr Cage, you are flat broke. *flashback to applying for a loan wearing John Travolta's face* Nick Cage: I already handled it