@SleazySli: Speed dating has nothing to do with drugs. I know that now.
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@ElleOhHell: "Dumb as a bag of hammers" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once.
@GrandadJFreeman: My favorite part of The Lion King is the part where Nicki Minaj held up baby Simba.
@TheCatWhisprer: I just laid on my cat's keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation.