@joshbupkes: Speed was unrealistic because nobody riding a bus wants to live
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@InternetHippo: [seeing a picture of myself] Revolting. Burn it [hearing a recording of my voice] Awful. Grating [seeing my tweets] Genius. A blessing to this world
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse.
@drhappyknuckles: It's embarrassing when you offer a bus seat to a pregnant woman but she's not a pregnant woman, he's your boss and you're stoned at work.