@joshbupkes: Speed was unrealistic because nobody riding a bus wants to live
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@chuuew: ME: Mint choc chip ice cream, pls. I got my own cone [places it on counter] EMPLOYEE: This is a traffic cone? ME: You must be new here.
@WhiskeyPotPie: If the zombie apocalypse hits and you all need a twist tie, my mom has everyone covered.
@boomdingwinning: Remember, it doesn't have to be the "perfect" muder, just an unsolvable one. ~me as a motivational speaker
@AmandaEeeek: I just want someone to make me feel like I did the first time I figured out a special move in Mortal Kombat.