@highinamerica: Spell check changed "important" to "impotent" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: WHO DREW ON THE WALL?! 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: The dog.
@Donna_McCoy: Baby showers are fun until someone has too much champagne and starts a plastic knife fight over a corner piece of cake. I need a ride home.
@senderblock23: If you smell something bad never ask what it is. Someone could say it is your upper lip. There is no known comeback for this
@dumbbeezie: If commercials want people to look at them they should all start with the sound of a phone vibrating