@wingzfly: Spent all day doing one of my favorite things ever - not dying. Score.
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@karencheee: Today I watched a meteor shower until it angrily pulled the curtains closed and yelled at me to stop peeping.
@SortaBad: Last month my mom asked what "af" meant and I said it meant "like REALLY something" without saying what it stood for
@chimneyspotter: GOOD COP: Give us a name! PERP: Never! TED TALK COP: Imagine a world where every single human has- PERP: Okay I'll talk, please just stop!
@MissBamantha: A Haiku For My Salad: I do not like you You will never be grilled cheese You make my mouth sad