@trumpetcake: Spent the day dressed as a bee, gently bumping myself against my neighbor's sliding-glass door. Got the hose twice.
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@AndrewNadeau0: Band:Make some noise! Crowd:WOOO! Me:THATS SO VAGUE! WHAT KIND OF NOISE?! B:I cant hear u! C:WOOO! M:B/C UR PLAN WAS FLAWED FROM THE START!
@charliedelta7: I like taking my cats out for a drive to show them roadkill so they know what will happen if they ever leave me.
@rockymomax: Her: u have a choice its me or the megaphone Me: fine Her: good Me: [puts megaphone directly to her ear] I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE
@just1fool: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs.