@birbigs: Spent the entire day milking a single almond.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jenstatsky: Hey, pens at the bank: cool it with the chains. You are literally last on my list of things I'd like to steal from a bank.
@living_marble: Technically, it's only cannibalism if you eat the top half of the mermaid, your honour.
@GroperCleveland: MTV has ordered a reality show to follow a group of virgins. That sounds very interesting and riveting and get that camera out of my face.
@noog: The biggest threat to mankind is aliens somehow receiving transmissions of Xbox Live conversations and deciding to just blow up the planet.