@WilliamAder: Spent way too much time walking around the house trying to track down an odd noise that turned out to be a whistle in my nose.
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@Mr_goose007: If I ever go missing, please put my photo on a Tequila bottle because nobody I know drinks milk.
@cbdoubleu: [Gets arrested] Officer: You get one phone call... *hangs up a few minutes later. Can you turn the radio up? I requested a song.
@TrueTorontoGirl: [Boss stands at my desk] Can I see you in my office? [I stare curiously] You can see me here, right?