@SchooIAnswer: Sphere pressure 😂😭
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@Sickayduh: BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you... IS AN OWL ME: Who? *everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°*
@LoveNLunchmeat: Before you take advice from me... you should know I walk around my house in my underwear while complaining about being cold.
@TheCiscoKidder: Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero.
@Thedudish: Is it true animals can sense danger? The cat's been wearing a helmet all week, and it makes me nervous.