@Tmoney68: Spice up Christmas shopping by entering random fitting rooms, waiting 5 minutes, then yelling, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
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@brianbowman73: There's a doctor here to see you. Doctor who? No, I think it's a non time traveling one.
@01CandyQueen: I hate when people say, "You barely touched your food" like what do you want me to do stroke it?
@ArfMeasures: [after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy