@djr_102: Spice up your Facebook timeline when someone's status turns to "It's complicated" by posting "thanks for last night" underneath it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@vikkaroni: Just once I'd like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do... Without being dragged out being told, "Ma'am, you're not the bride..."
@RocketRankoon: "So, do you play any instruments?" Me: *slaps knees for 30 minutes straight without breaking eye contact*
@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.