@EtobicokeErnie: My neighbour is on his front porch wearing a Halloween mask and oven mitts while trying to remove a wasps nest. This should be interesting.
@ObscureGent: I never took a drama class but everyone at this birthday believes that I love this gluten free cake.
@Bizarro_Mark: The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn't amused when I said, "I don't think it's working"
@SamuelHLowe: I bought some super sensitive condoms a few months ago and they won't stop crying because I don't use them.
@PinkCamoTO: *out for dinner with friends*
Me: I'm going to need 5 desserts and 1 spoon.
Waiter: Don't you mean 1 dessert and 5 spoons?
Me: You heard me.
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