@Sanbel11: Spider just landed on my shoulder. I didn't want to kill it so I just fainted instead.
@iTomFoolery: Namaste or Namago.
@huntigula: [Donald Trump's election speech]
"America, I have only 1 thing to say"
*pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher*
"YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"
@Petote: Just because I am an Italian American doesn't mean my family is in the mob....
It means we used to be.
@the_tsai_guy: If someone eggs your house, you can save time cleaning up by just baking your house into a cake.
@GinRumMe: Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know.