@Sanbel11: Spider just landed on my shoulder. I didn't want to kill it so I just fainted instead.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@samalmightysam: That awkward moment when a person says they need their beauty sleep when what they really need is plastic surgery.
@StephenBCramer: Yahoo news reports that Johnny Manziel was forced to sit in the middle seat of an airliner. I guess they should have let him fly the plane.
@NervousJr: Don't feel like going to the gym? Go to all your ex's facebook pages and see who they're dating now. Then go to the gym.
@PaulyPeligroso: To spice things up in the bedroom, I have my wife dress up as a pizza boy. Then, I have her put the pizza on the counter and then leave.