@Sanbel11: Spider just landed on my shoulder. I didn't want to kill it so I just fainted instead.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MomOfTeen: Me: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Padre: What is your sin, my child? Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .
@HairyJew4Life: Me: Why does it take you forever to text me back? *3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about?
@ilovepie84: When I play rock paper scissors I always pick Rock because Dwayne Johnson shows up and punches my opponent.