@Sanbel11: Spider just landed on my shoulder. I didn't want to kill it so I just fainted instead.
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@dubstep4dads: man...im so hungry i could- *i catch eye contact with a horse* "you could what?" *shows his gun* i could.. eat a sandwich "thought so."
@Kalarlis: my bf is wonderful but he will never be as soft as my roommate's dog who moved out of the house WHY GREG WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS SOFT AS THE DOG
@panmidwest: [roadtrip] ME: I need a bathroom break FRIEND: no stops for 2 hours, use that Gatorade bottle ME: um…ok...now how am I supposed to wipe?