@OhNoSheTwitnt: Spider-Man is my favorite superhero whose name is made up of 2 things that scare the shit out of me.
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@Michael1979: Therapist: Your relationships fail due to your selfishness *I slip him a twenty* T: They fail because you're great & everyone else is awful
@elle91: Accidentally taught my dog to play dad instead of play dead and now he won't stop barking at me when I try to touch the thermostat
@jjax44: It sucks when you & your pal show up at a party wearing the same shirt...and an hour in, his chest hair starts sticking to your back.