@jaggings: Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can / super speed, giant leap / crawls in your mouth when you're asleep
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@BackrowSeats: Take a deep breath. Good. Now count to 10. Right. Now slap someone in their face. Nice. Feel better?
@Social_Mime: Doing word problems as a kid as helped me in adulthood. "Dan doesn't have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"
@jake_lach: Is that a cop behind me? No, just a car with a bike rack. Or maybe it's an undercover cop with a bike rack? -Weed
@doktorj: Me: Good night Moon Moon: Me, climbing out of lunar module two weeks later: Did you get my text?!