@meladoodle: Spoil any movie by telling ur friend “Ice Cube dies” before they watch it. They’ll be waiting for Ice Cube to appear and die the whole time
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@CherBear162: I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
@psybermonkey: [heist] Me: *presses stethoscope against bank safe Thief: well? Me: omg... [cut to safe being pushed rapidly down hospital corridor]
@TheBoydP: The "free milkshakes for a month" contest I just won is telling me my month's supply of shakes is 5 shakes. Yeah 5 should last me a month...