@albywizzy: Spoiler Alert: Ladies ,if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear it has a Camera in it.
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@murrman5: "so, have you ever done a job interview over the phone before?" [over vigorous peeing] no, this will be a first
@TheHyyyype: CONDUCTOR: all aboard! ME: i'm pretty bored CONDUCTOR: no, i meant everyone on the train ME: oh, i'm sure they're bored too
@samalmightysam: If Socrates had been a woman, he would've said: All I know is that I have all these clothes, but I have nothing to wear.
@Swishergirl24: Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are.