@notalogin: Sportscenter, episode 542783747363467367984768474756431063389425993399064375493638386747899532689432462567953467347: Men talking animatedly.
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@bourgeoisalien: [walking down street with date after dinner] him: i had a great time me: yep... [gestures towards garbage truck] welp, this is me [jumps in]
@DurtMcHurtt: Her: hey handsome, why don't you give me your number... Me: ...because I still need it.
@AndyAsAdjective: My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life.
@RumAndReeses: My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass.