@eedrk: spraypainting "CHEATER" on my car to make it look like im sexually active
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@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to "Brandi from the club" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM
@JB4Realz: WIFE *stuck on crossword puzzle*: I need a four-letter word for "Identical". ME *also stuck on crossword puzzle*: same.
@MattMcGruff: Officer- I'm giving you a ticket for your speed Me- That's heroin Officer-... Me- Want some? Officer-... Me- Oooh, shiny handcuffs