@eedrk: spraypainting "CHEATER" on my car to make it look like im sexually active
@daemonic3: Leading causes of cancer:
@EliiHenry: *Open up, police!!*
"NO YOU'RE GONNA YELL AT ME."
EVERYONE REMAIN CALM.
Use the stairs.
DO NOT use the elevators.
We're on the 12th floor...
I guess I'm dying in a fire.
@SandyPeterz: Whenever I have a twitter break, I check my job.
@TheProvenFacts: The average human body contains enough human bones to make up an entire human skeleton.