@evanR39: If one door closes and another door opens, then probably your in a jail.

@Awk0Tacoo: Me: *in bed with dogs* *car drives down street* Dogs: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A NOISE WHILE OUR HUMAN IS SLEEPING, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

@pittdave13: Bugs have antennas so they can get a few local channels for free

@JasonLastname: I just hit a duck with my car. Wasn't even in it. Incredible strength.

@TheTalkingPipe: Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.