We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@Sickayduh: "Spring break"
- Russian mattress repairman
@thefosterer: lol no thanks my tires rotate themselves every day
@terio1429: Corned beef and potatoes running aimlessly about on the playground.
@XplodingUnicorn: Brother: *calls* Can you pick me up at the airport tomorrow?
Me: Sure. Can't wait to see you.
Him: I land at 5 AM.
Me: I have no brother.
@stanleybehrman: If she boasts how adult coloring is therapeutic and has made her more tolerant and patient
Hide her markers
@Neauxpe: The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle.