@scorpiusryan21: Squirrels before girls.
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@WheelTod: [Traffic Stop] Cop: Sir, please step out of the car Me: But you said... Cop: I said 3 minutes tops & you promised not to touch the siren.
@stephenjmolloy: [Tour of an olive oil factory] Guide: This is where we squash the olives. [Tour of a baby oil factory] Guide: You don't want to go in there