@scorpiusryan21: Squirrels before girls.
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@itsa_talia: my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him.
@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.
@angeliav68: Truthfully officer, I wouldn't have pulled over, if I known all you were gonna do is complain about my driving..
@SodomyClown: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to get in her trunk or she'll have to do this the hard way.