@thepunningman: St-t-t-t-top! Stamm-mm-m-m-mm-m-mer t-t-t-time!
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@DannyZuker: Thank you for saying, "I'm just being honest" after that horrible thing you just said. I feel better now that I know you meant it.
@TheToddWilliams: GOOD COP: Three robberies in the same neighborhood ...do you know what I'm thinking? PSYCHIC COP: Yes GOOD COP: Oh right
@loribuckmajor: Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable.
@david8hughes: Me: can we stop by my house so I can grab my pillow & my phone charger? It's like 10 minutes from here Arresting officer: no